Sunday, August 19, 2007

Siden blev ikke fundet

Why the hell does Blogger do this. I am not Danish, I can't understand Danish, although I do like to partake in their beer and bacon. So just because i am using a computer in Copenhagen why is everything in Danish? I have logged in, Blogger knows where I come from, why write everything in Danish? i have no idea what "GEM NU" or "UDGIV INDLAEG" mean. So I think I will go and have a beer.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

The Little Red Dot

My flight to Singapore, yesterday was made almost tolerable by the fact that I was flying business class, only because it is part of a much longer flight that the company will pay the extra dosh for. Usually Singapore is under the four hour rule where we get more leg room and the wine is almost palatable.
Arrived here in the evening, and the change from Hong Kong was immediately noticable, more so than the similarities; such as far less pollution, people are slower, the traffic, even on the busy roads doesn't seem to me as snarled up, and its cooler.
Arrived at the Shangri La and they were their usual service at any costs smiles. Had a smoking room, and the girl who came to turn my bed down asked if there was anything else she could do for me. I was sort of tempted, but no.
I took a stroll down to the four floors. It was early, but the main problem there is finding places where you can smoke, so I ended up in Ipanema, which seemed to be full of girls from Vietnam (who looked old), katoeys and girls carrying a lot of silicone (obviously been around long enough to earn the dosh required for the op). Apart from that it was like the arctic in there, which didn't relly enhance my pleasure. The smoking room there is signed up that you can't take food or drink in there - which seems strange, but most people were ingnoring te signs and taking their beers in there with them. After three beers I headed back to the hotel; on the way, I was propositioned several times by some pretty ladies from China and a katoey (I didn't have to be sober to realise this).
My meetings today went well. Pipe Welders & Flange Fitters International have moved their HR department for my project to Singapore, recently. So it was worth going in there. They were kind enough to treat me to lunch at an eatery called Garuda, which was pleasant.
Another quick meeting in the afternoon, then back to the hotel. The hotel then phoned me up to ask what I wanted as my free gift for being a Golden Circle member, and she ran through a list of things like beer, coke, coke zero chocalate, milk and cookies, and said I was allowed to pick three gifts. I said, "That's easy. Beer, beer and beer, please" "Cannot sir, they must be different" I thought about this for a while, and said, "OK, just bring me the beer, and forget the other two gifts." "But Sir you must pick three!" "I did pick three but you said that wasn't allowed, so now I am picking the only gift I want"
Sure enough the young girl comes around with two bottles of Tiger, which i am supping as I write this missive.
Back to the airport soon to catch a flight to "the seat of Mars"

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

"Escalator Safety is easy to learn"

So the MTR is running its annual escalator safety campaign, deploying Escalator Safety Ambassadors to remind passengers how to use escalators safely, with corny messages, such as, "Stand clear, keep your toes away from the edge", and "Grandparents to please use the lift for a safe trip".
As well as Escalator Safety Ambassadors, dressed in bright green uniforms, they are using platform assistants to stand near the escalators with megaphones spouting recorded safety messages, which they will occassionally interupt, as they hurl abuse at some poor person who has violated the Escalator Safety Code. The people who police these wonderful stations will be concentrating on the escalators - always being mindful, not to stand in the way of several hundred passengers who are rushing for the train or the exit.
Meanwhile in other parts of the station, other passengers will be able to transgress all sorts of rules, because there is no one there to tell them what to do, and they always ignore tannoy announcements anyway. Like, yesterday, as I tried to get off the train at Central there was a mother and son sttod on the green arrow on the platform, blocking my exit from the train. To add to this heinous crime, the young lad was eating a butty. It was really his misfortune that his head was at the same height as my knee, so, when the mother tried to barge onto the train, dragging her offspring along, my knee struck the young lad causing him to cry out.
Wake up MTR! Control the crowds on the platforms, the escalators don't need your attention. I now have a sandwich stain on my trousers.

Monday, August 06, 2007

USS Huckleberry Finn

For those of you who breathed a sigh of relief when the US Navy left town, last week; being able to get a seat in your favouritre watering holes, my sources tell me that they will be back latewr this month with a different set of ships. A very reliable source (i.e. someone told me in a bar) that 5,000 American sailors would be getting 4 days shore leave from the 20th August. They couldn't tell me the name of the ships, so I will call it the USS Huckleberry Finn.
I am OK about this as I won't be in town, I will be in Denmark on my mini business trip for four weeks visitting Singapore, UK, Denmark, UK and the Isle of Man, before coming back to Hong Kong for a week, and then I am going to Pattaya fofr a week to getr over all that travelling.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

To watch a grown man cry, you soft git!

On Friday evening, I was trying to enjoty a quiet drink at one of my favourite watering holes, but there was someone there who, without direct contact was doing just enough to thoroughly piss me off. I didn't know him so it seems he was visitting the Hong Kong Office, fom abroad; but I do know what company he works for: a company that has an office in Quarry Bay on the 12th Floor of one of the buildings in Taikoo Place. Not only was he being an obnoxious prat, but he was ready to communicate the fact with anyone in the bar who was willing to listen to his foul language, watch his drunken antics, such as swinging girls around on his shoulders, and smell his stinking feet as he put them on the bar.
He was just one of those guys who was bound to ruin your evening for you. Then Fate intervened, on my behalf, to save the evening from being a complete disaster. He had obviously just invested some hard owned rupees in a new Blackberry whilst he was in Hong Kong, and he put this on the bar, while he decided to have an arm wrestling contest with one of his colleagues. And I was offered a similar revelation to Sir Isaac Newtoon with the apple, as he knocked it from its, not-so-safe place on the bar. Gravity took hold and it landed on the stone floor nex to the bar.
Now this was not one of those, 'when the irrestible force meets the immovable onbject moments". I guess that Blackberries are not meant to be knocked on the floor, so when it struck the granite slabs it sort of disintegrated into a useless pile of plastic and more plastic. The lout got really upset about this, and started to behave as if his brother had died or something. I have to admit that I mutterd to myself, my favourite Thai phrase, "Som nam na, you twat!".
Thankfully this event caused tne owner of the smashed blackberry to leave the bar, and I was able to enjoty the rest of my evening, by getting thoroughly sozzled.